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| Saturday, July 24, 2004 Nekkid Dad When alone with a fussy baby, one must adapt. Tasks that were once easy and completed without a second thought become challenging and must be undertaken with new strategies and methods. Ruby likes to be held. I don’t mean to say that she likes to be held once in a while: what I mean is that, if she is awake, she wants to be held. If for some reason, the adult in charge isn’t able to hold her, she screams. I hope that every parent can attest to the fact that sometimes you have to let your baby cry while you get stuff done. I don’t do it often, but sometimes, I put that baby in her vibra-chair and run around like a madman trying to finish my daily task list with her air-raid siren screams blasting in my ears. I always hope that she will just fall asleep and ignore me.
Sadly, this rarely happens. Her dislike of being abandoned, even for a moment, makes everyday processes such as taking a shower or a piss challenging. I don’t like the idea of leaving her where I can’t instantly check to see if things are ok. There are times when she screams, and there is nothing that I can do about it other than to look at her and make sure that she isn’t on fire or bleeding. I need to have constant visual contact with her. The problem with this is that she also has constant visual contact with me. I know we’re related, and she is only four months old, but it’s a little disconcerting to have a small girl watching and giggling while I go to the bathroom and take a shower. I had a friend whose creepy dad seemed to relish the occasional “accidental” times that his son's friends saw him naked. I don’t want my daughter to flash back on early memory images of her dad taking a crap when she grows up and goes to hypnotherapy, but I also don’t want to leave her alone in the living room screaming for fifteen minutes in the morning. This probably falls into the “too much information” blog category, but I like to walk around naked for a few minutes after a shower. Ruby's eyes are always glued to her bare-assed father, and if I try to hang out behind her, out of her field of vision, she nearlly breaks her neck trying to see me. While she is looking at me, she is either pointing and laughing or pointing and screaming. My ego doesn't know what to make of either reaction. I don’t remember seeing my parents naked a lot, and I’m thankful for it. I hope that youngsters are immune to their parent’s nudity. I base this hope on the memory that my dad used to take me to Hidden Beach at Tahoe, until I realized that it was a nude beach and asked him why people weren’t wearing bathing suits. It was at exactly this time that he started taking me to the better known and more regulated Sand Harbor, even though it was crowded and a pain in the butt. I see Ruby’s butt all the time, so she should be ok with the fact that her dad is bouncing and jiggling sans clothes across her field of vision, right? There should be a shit/shave/shower babysitting service that would specialize in watching infants for an hour a day, just so stay-at-home parents could take care of their morning essentials. |
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