Friday, September 24

Nonna’s Day

I have written about my occupational disdain for Mother’s Day. In addition to the stress that comes from being a waiter on that horrible day, the cynic in me is distrustful of holidays that are driven by the greeting card industry. Today, however, is my mom’s birthday, and that deserves more enthusiasm than some randomly determined Sunday in spring. Happy Birthday Mom!

The process of becoming a parent has made me realize how lucky I was to have my mom raise me. I know several single parents that are overwhelmed by the seemingly impossible task of rearing a child alone. Their kids are often troubled and left to their own devices. I try to imagine being a good and attentive parent to Ruby without Ani, and it seems impossible. And yet; somehow, my mother not only raised me on her own, but raised me very well. Of all the silly complaints that I have about my childhood, I can’t think of a single time that I felt unloved, ignored, or that my mother was uninvolved in my life. I hate to admit it, but much of the core of who I am today, I owe directly to my mother. She diligently taught me about her moral beliefs, and I diligently fought her every step of the way. Somehow, in the end, I came to view the world almost in exactly the way she presented it to me, and I convinced myself that I discovered it all on my own. Of course, now I am beginning to admit that I owe much of my strength, thoughtfulness, and sense of self to her unfaltering love and labor as a mother. I didn’t realize it then, but now I see firsthand how much sacrifice all of that must have involved. Children don’t think of their parents as mere mortals; instead they look upon them as super adult beings that always have their act together. While I do believe that children always deserve love, attention, support, and guidance, it is seemingly impossible for any human being to live up to that expectation, especially on their own. My mom came pretty close.

I also am extremely grateful to her for the help she gives us with Ruby. They spend three afternoons a week together. While we do appreciate the money that this has saved us, more importantly I am thankful that Ruby is spending time with someone like her Nonna. I trust her completely, and I know that she is as loving and encouraging with Ruby as she was with me, and I know that Ruby will gain greatly from a mother's love.

I love you Mom. Happy Birthday, and thank you so much for everything.